A Q "How To"

Today’s lesson is: How to get a sleeping human to pet you.

Step one: Position yourself between the human’s body and hands.

Step two: Snuggle up so they notice you. Purr.

Step three: Lever your nose under one of the human’s hands and lift it upward. This should get a petting motion started. If this is not successful, proceed to step four.

Step four: If needed, gently slide your paw beneath the hand and lift it just high enough to nuzzle your cold nose into the palm. If there is still no result, proceed to step five.

Step five: Roll backward, and continue to purr loudly enough to disturb your human's sleep. Now repeat steps three and four.

With persistence, this method will achieve the desired result.

One word of warning: if at any time you allow your claws to contact the sleeping human, you may find yourself taking an unwanted flight across the room. For your own safety, keep your claws sheathed at all times.